On my brother’s birthday, I thought I’d be nice, so I said to him “On this special day may all your wishes come true.” I assumed he’d wish for normal things like finding love, getting a better job, lasting happiness for him and our family or maybe even world peace. Instead he got greedy and made the dick move of wishing for more wishes, so I told him “Since you made the dick move of wishing for more wishes, the least you could do is save a couple of those extra wishes for me. You wouldn’t even miss those extra couple wishes because you’ll have like an unlimited amount of wishes.” I then added “And I promise I won’t use my wishes to wish for more wishes (like some assholes do).”
I'd probably wish for the ability to fly so I won't have to take the over-crowded stinky bus to work in the morning anymore. I'd get to work a lot faster, so I could sleep in for an extra 30 or 40 minutes and that would be nice. I'd have to be very careful to not let anyone see me flying to work because then people would be all like "Hey, how come that dude can fly? Is he like some kind of superhero or something?" Then the government would start asking me to fight bad guys and solve crimes and shit like that. It would be a real hassle because most of that crime-fighting action happens late at night and I’d still have to get up early to go to work. Then those 30 or 40 minutes of extra sleep wouldn't even matter anymore. Eventually I'd start getting sleep deprived because of all the late night crime-fighting and then I'd be tired all the time and wouldn't be able to concentrate at work. I'd probably end up losing my job because of it. Then I'd have to waste my second wish and wish for a new job. I know with my work experience I could probably find a job on my own, but in this economy there's no guarantee. Because I couldn't afford to lose my new wished for job, I'd have to pretend I couldn't fly anymore so the government would stop asking me to do all their dirty work for them. Then I'd have to start taking the over-crowded stinky bus to work again even though I can still fly.
“You know what? You can keep your god damned wishes. I was better off without them.”
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